Standings
After 8 games. Seeded by record.
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Seeds go by record. Ties are settled by head-to-head, then by point differential (the sum of every game's margin), then by a coin flip the Despot makes. The two division leaders take seeds 1 and 2.
- Playoffs · seeds 1–6
- 1 Peazy StupidRyan Noah 7-1 +22
- 2 Mittens DrunkenJustin Munroe 7-1 +7
- 3 The Evil StupidTodd Lipscomb 6-2 +11
- 4 Benihana Bob DrunkenBob Simmons 5-3 +3
- 5 Commodore Puddles StupidMitch Munroe 5-3 +9
- 6 Burning Man DrunkenJohn McKay 5-3 +7
- Playoff line
- Bitch Bowl · seeds 7–14
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Below the line is the Bitch Bowl, where the loser of each game advances. Win a Bitch Bowl game and you escape to the King Shit of Fuck Mountain bracket. Lose the final and you are the Bitch. - 7 Risotto Buzzkill DrunkenDavid Walsh 4-4 -5
- 8 Nepal Flood Monkeys StupidSteve Thornton 4-4 +1
- 9 Bucket of Dicks DrunkenJules Meyer 3-5 -9
- 10 Monkey's Bitch StupidStefan Allen 3-5 -14
- 11 The Quick Trippers StupidSteve Dumas 3-5 -2
- 12 Shaved Cats DrunkenBlake Kopplin 2-6 -6
- 13 Sweet Little Nephew DrunkenAustin Long 1-7 -3
- 14 Smurphs StupidChris Murphy 1-7 -21
Tap a team for its roster and schedule. The number under the record is point differential.
How seeding works
- Record first. A tie goes to head-to-head, then to point differential, then to a coin flip the Despot makes.
- In a tie of three or more, the team that wins the tiebreak takes the seed and the rest start over from head-to-head.
- The two division leaders take seeds 1 and 2 and sit out the first playoff week. Seeds 3 to 6 play in. Seeds 7 and below go to the Bitch Bowl.
- Point differential is the sum of game-score margins, so a 7–1 win is worth more than a 5–3 one even though both are one win.
- Only finished weeks count. A week is added once every NFL game in it is over; a live scoreboard never moves the standings.
- division winners take seeds 1-2 and the week 15 byes (Peazy, Mittens).
Full text: rules on standings and the postseason.